A Reflection on You

By Debbie Zuckerman, TICC, NBC-HWC, MA
Trauma-Informed, Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach

Feeling off and out of sorts

Overwhelmed by too many things

Relationships, caregiving, health, world events, work, daily household tasks …

There’s one of you with only so much energy to spare

How can you focus on what’s in your control; recharge and be accountable to yourself?

You absorb others’ emotions and beliefs, but what about your own

It’s time to prioritize yourself, find your truth, sort through all those spiraling thoughts

What’s important to you, what do you love, what strengths have helped you get to this point?

Listen closely … to your inner world, to that part of you that’s wise, compassionate, discerning …

The part that wants to find inner peace, feel confident, and heal

Let that part be your guide when you pay attention inside - the part that lights up when you look up at that eagle in the sky

When you learn to trust you, all of you - emotions and physical sensations as cues

Your mindful insight will surface and be profound

Your fears, try not to judge them, they are there for a reason … what other purpose might they serve?

Is it time to rest, say no to that person and event, let go of that task?

Allow the healthy guilt to pass as a new boundary surfaces

Positive change starts from within; with the help of those around you who are safe and truly see you

What if you could find your wellbeing groove …. imagine the possibilities if you embrace the whole of you

My purpose is to help you make that intentional move

Look Within to Achieve Intentional Goals

By Debbie Zuckerman, Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach

Can you think of something you do on a routine basis that comes naturally and without hesitation? You feel motivated to do it because it has a purpose. It’s meaningful to you. Here are some possible activities to help you brainstorm: 

• Petting your dog or cat

• Going on a walk

• Volunteering

• Cooking or baking

• Visiting with a friend

• Spending time with your child or partner

• Reading

• Meditating

• Cleaning/organizing  

• Mowing the lawn

• Decorating 

• Starting or completing a house/work project

It doesn’t have to cost money, but if it does that works too! Once you have something in mind (feel free to write it down), reflect on the following questions:

1. How and why is it important to you? (VALUES)

2. What skills do you use to make it happen? (STRENGTHS)

3. What do you like/love about it? (PASSIONS)

VALUES + STRENGTHS + PASSIONS = PURPOSE AND MEANING >

INTENTIONAL SMART GOALS > DESIRED CHANGE

If you are able to answer all three questions, then it most likely has meaning and purpose for you. When an activity has more meaning, your motivation to accomplish tends to be higher, leading to desired change. 

Now, think of a change you desire in your personal or professional life. In order to achieve a meaningful change, it is essential to set an intentional goal that is realistic for you to pursue. A goal with purpose that keeps you motivated. How might you create a SMART goal to support your desired change using the formula above and answering questions 1-3? Once you have established your intention and purpose, how you get there will be aligned with your values, strengths, and passions. This approach will keep you motivated to take the next step and beyond toward your desired change. 

To learn more, receive coaching support, and gather effective resources to set and achieve intentional SMART goals that support your desired changes (personal and professional), schedule a session or contact me at debbie@centerpiecewellness.com.

Finding Relief Through Guided Imagery

By Debbie Zuckerman, Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach

Do you have a safe and comforting place you can go to calm and reset your nervous system when feeling stressed and overwhelmed? Perhaps you have a physical location at home, work, or in your community where you can retreat. Maybe it’s a coffee shop, gym, grocery store, lake, ocean, cabin, mountain, skating rink, wellness center, pickleball court, or place of prayer.  

What if you had access to a safe and comforting mindfulness retreat, 24/7, that does not require travel or a financial investment? 

The good news is that if you are reading this, then you do! It’s just a matter of unlocking it! 

Guided imagery is key to satisfying our human need for safety, calm, and peace. This mindful practice that integrates your imagination, breath, and senses, is intended to alleviate emotional, mental, and physical discomfort. As a mind-body practice, it gives you the freedom to practice anywhere for any amount of time. You can choose to listen to a guided imagery meditation led by someone else, read a script, or guide yourself.

Guided imagery is an evidence-based complementary therapy and meditation practice that can be beneficial for managing symptoms related to chronic health conditions, including anxiety, depression, PTSD, irritable bowel syndrome, fibromyalgia, and rheumatoid arthritis. It can also help during preoperative care and with pain management. 

Guided imagery can also support behavioral change around lifestyle habits, emotional regulation (intelligence), and cognitive reframing. For example, if you have a fear of going to the dentist, it can be used during an actual dental procedure. If falling asleep is challenging, a little guided imagery can go a long way to relax your body and mind, and help you drift into sleep sooner. You can also use guided imagery to effectively accomplish goals related to nutrition and exercise through visualization. Athletes, performers, and speakers use it to prepare themselves before an event. 

Like other mindfulness practices, guided imagery can be used personally and professionally to improve one’s overall sense of wellbeing.

Once you get the hang of it, there is no right or wrong way to practice guided imagery. With practice and patience, you can learn to trust your imagination and inner wisdom to lead you to intentional outcomes like finding peace, calm, confidence, motivation, healing, and goal attainment. I like to think of guided imagery as a ‘mini-vacation’ to reset your nervous system. I also equate it to drinking water throughout the day to stay properly hydrated and energized, while flushing out all the ‘stuff’ in your system you no longer need. 

To learn more and receive coaching support and effective resources for your guided imagery practice, schedule a session or contact me at debbie@centerpiecewellness.com.

Real-Time Survival Mode

By Debbie Zuckerman, Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach

As I write, tens of thousands are experiencing the trauma of loss of property, community, and safety due to the fires in California. They are in sheer survival mode, focused on basic needs like shelter, food, and water. People may be grieving the loss of loved ones. They may feel emotions like anger, frustration, confusion, shock, anxiety, sadness, overwhelm, and numbness. Like me, you may have loved ones who are going through this nightmare, and may feel helpless as you watch the events on the news or text them endlessly to check in. 

How does one keep their nervous system regulated when life has been turned upside down? How do you make critical and logical decisions when in fight-flight-freeze mode? These are questions I am pondering as I witness my family and Los Angeles county residents go through this unimaginable upheaval. 

In times of suffering, when one’s catastrophic thoughts are actually true, how do you cope? 

What comes to mind is the practice of compassion. Compassion meets suffering where it is and acknowledges the truth of the situation. Consider affirmations such as:

“This is my worst-case scenario coming true, and I will take it one day at a time.” 

“I am suffering and can overcome this.”

“I am not alone in this and have others to help me through.”

Allowing space to validate and feel your emotions can be difficult, yet is also necessary for healing. Energetic connection with one’s community, even if it is physically gone, is essential to well-being and survival. Self-compassion and compassion for others are restorative measures to bring a sense of belonging and grounding in difficult times. 

Breathwork, tapping, healing touch, and other nervous system regulation practices will not reverse the destruction caused by the fires. However, they are reliable, evidence-based tools to help you access inner strength, resilience, and hope during times of outer and inner turmoil. 

To receive coaching support for your emotional and mental well-being during this challenging time, feel free to schedule a session or contact me at debbie@centerpiecewellness.com.

Trauma Healing is a Change Journey

by Debbie Zuckerman, Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach

No matter where you are in your trauma healing journey, it is important to reflect on how far you have come. Recognizing and celebrating the energy, resources, and effort you have put into improving your personal wellbeing is equally as important as actually doing the work. If you have recently begun the process, acknowledging that you have taken the first step can be invaluable for motivation and confidence. 

Know that the path forward is not linear, as change is dynamic and fluid, and naturally comes with ups and downs. See if you can move forward through uncertainty with courage and trust in yourself, the people who support you, and the resources that fuel your growth. Just knowing that change can be challenging fosters resilience and reduces resistance. Surrender to what is true in the moment, so you can make realistic and healthy changes. 

When old or new obstacles arise and goals seem futile, revisit the thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors that no longer serve you. Put your energy into expanding self-awareness of mind, body, and spirit to access your fears, strengths, values, desires, and aspirations. Become better acquainted with the relationship between your bodily sensations and emotions, and how these parts of you interfere with or nurture the fullness of your breath. 

Practice mindfulness and self-compassion with a focus on nervous system regulation. Regulate, regulate, regulate throughout the day. Each day find something you are grateful for and celebrate what may feel like the smallest achievement to you, but what really is a significant milestone in your healing journey. 

Yes, your inner critic and self-doubt may fight to be heard and knock you down. So, when you notice this happening, fill your cup with more self-compassion, more mindfulness, and nervous system regulation.

Recognize how far you have come and where you want to be. Visualize, draw, or find an image of a bridge or ladder. 

Ask yourself:

• Where am I now, and where do I want to be in a week, three months, one year, and beyond?

• What steps will I take and which tools do I need to get there? 

• What are the supporting goals and resources that I need? 

• What aspects of my life are holding me back and what can I let go of in order to achieve the outcomes I want?

• What obstacles can I anticipate and how do I work through them?

Need help getting started or feeling stuck in the process? I am here to help!

To receive coaching support and wellbeing tools for your trauma healing journey, schedule a session or contact me at debbie@centerpiecewellness.com.

Nervous System Reset

by Debbie Zuckerman, Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach

Breathe in through your nose
Hear your breath go in
Shoulders down
Jaw relaxed 
Exhale through your mouth 
Slowly out 

Breath in through your nose
See your fingers
Wiggle your toes 
Relax your brow
Exhale through your mouth 
Slowly slowly out

Breathe in through your nose 
Touch your palm to your chest
Arch your back 
Shake out your legs
Exhale through your mouth 
Slowly slowly slowly out 

Notice the emotions you feel and the thoughts that arose
Be curious. Be kind. Be with it.

Schedule a session or contact me at debbie@centerpiecewellness.com to learn more about mindful moments to reset your nervous system. 

The Wisdom of Our Emotions

by Debbie Zuckerman, Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach

Emotional avoidance and numbing is a common theme in the work I do with adult trauma survivors. I define it as a subconscious or conscious avoidance of overwhelming emotions, such as unworthiness, shame, guilt, sadness, and remorse. Many trauma survivors are conditioned to be skilled at emotional avoidance, or numbing, as coping strategies to prevent or suppress the flood of tough emotions. Distractions are behaviors where one is “over” or “under” doing anything as a means to alleviate the pain of unprocessed emotions. Examples include overworking, overachieving, people-pleasing, procrastinating, undermining one’s abilities, controlling, having rigid or loose boundaries, withdrawing from social activities, and addictive behaviors like shopping, drinking, and social media scrolling. 

Distraction from emotions serves a purpose, and in fact, it is a sign that your nervous system is working to protect you. What’s interesting is that the behaviors that have kept trauma survivors safe have the potential to become invaluable strengths in both their personal and professional lives. The work that we do in coaching is to figure out how to dial a strength up or down so that it is used in a healthy and balanced way.

What can happen over time if trauma survivors suppress their emotions is that emotions will find a way to get noticed, i.e. through emotional dysregulation, acute pain, and chronic conditions like autoimmune disorders, IBS (irritable bowel syndrome), and depression and anxiety. That’s where emotional intelligence practices can be extremely helpful. Like the logical part of our brain, emotions are also a reliable source of wisdom and guidance. They help us determine our unmet needs so we can take care of ourselves and improve our sense of wellbeing in a healthy way.

Here is an approach you can try (even one step could help) to regulate your nervous system next time you are triggered by an emotion and find yourself moving into distraction mode.

Note: This is not a complete list. The steps can be practiced in any order and any combination.   

• PAUSE and notice you are having a tough emotion

• CHALLENGE any self-judgment (are you having an emotion about your emotion?)

• LABEL the emotion - refer to this Feelings Wheel (“I am feeling  _______”)

• BREATHE - (i.e. diaphragmatic or box breathing)

• NOTICE any sensation(s) in your body related to the emotion (i.e. tight chest, clenched jaw, headache)

• PRACTICE self-compassion (i.e. place your hand on your chest, breathe, ground feet into floor, clasp hands, self-hug, journal, take a walk, acknowledge “this is hard”)

Schedule a session or contact me at debbie@centerpiecewellness.com if you or a loved one would like to learn strategies to practice and strengthen your emotional intelligence and improve your sense of wellbeing

A Daily Dose of Gratitude

by Debbie Zuckerman, Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach 

A daily dose of gratitude can shift your mind and body from a stress response to more of a relaxed state. It can help you manage the ups and downs of life and achieve a more regulated nervous system. 

Recall a recent time when you were not feeling great, either emotionally, mentally, and/or physically. Maybe you were stressed about a relationship or work situation. Perhaps you were being hard on yourself and ruminating about a recent social situation. Or was there a time when you were feeling ill and unable to get things done on your to-do list? Whatever the situation, a little bit of gratitude can go a long way.  Establishing a daily practice can help strengthen your ‘gratitude muscle’ so that it becomes more accessible during the most challenging times. 

Try this exercise to explore or modify an existing gratitude practice:

• Who or what in your life (let’s call them “glimmers”) brings you a consistent feeling of comfort, safety, love, peace, joy, appreciation, hope, and/or purpose? 

• You may think of a person, animal, object, memory, place, activity/hobby, or more!

• Write down your glimmers for daily reference so you can revisit them anytime.

• Access self-compassion by being kind and comforting to yourself.

A gratitude practice is not just for the tough times. Acknowledging your glimmers during the “good” times is a healthy way to embrace what’s going well in your life. This approach to gratitude can reinforce your glimmers even more for the times you need them the most. And remember to practice a healthy dose of self-compassion as well! 

Visit The Neuroscience of Gratitude by PositivePsychology.com to learn more about the wellbeing benefits of gratitude.

Need help getting started? 

Schedule a session or contact me at debbie@centerpiecewellness.com to learn how to incorporate gratitude, and other invaluable practices, like self-compassion, into your life to feel more calm, joy, and peace.

When Words Hurt

By Debbie Zuckerman, Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach

You may have heard of the English children’s rhyme that first appeared in the 1800’s,

“Sticks and stones may break my bones
But words shall never hurt me.”

According to Wikipedia, this rhyme was used as a “defense against name-calling and verbal bullying, intended to increase resiliency, avoid physical retaliation, and/or to remain calm and indifferent.”

As a kid in the 1970’s, I remember replaying this rhyme in my mind in a sing-songy fashion and feeling ashamed when words did actually hurt. I felt like something was wrong with me when my teachers, family, and other kids reinforced that words should not hurt, but in fact they did.

“Sticks and stones” and other fear-based belief systems can lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms such as emotional numbing, perfectionism, and people-pleasing. What’s a kid to do but push their emotions down as a freeze response to avoid being made fun of by peers and family. Other responses could be to fight back or run away and hide, all in an effort to stay safe. Unfortunately, over time, unprocessed emotions can contribute to a dysregulated nervous system that shows up as anxiety, depression, and other chronic illnesses.

Times are changing and the theory and teachings of emotional intelligence from the 1990s continues to play a crucial role in society. Assertive and mindful “nonviolent” communication (NVC), developed by Marshall B. Rosenberg, can be a healthy way to cope with emotionally triggering situations and people. 

Coupled with empathy and self-compassion, Rosenberg’s NVC approach helps to acknowledge hurt without judgment and determine what response best supports one’s emotional wellbeing and safety. 

Schedule a session or contact me at debbie@centerpiecewellness.com to learn how to incorporate NVC, emotional intelligence, and other invaluable practices into your life to feel more calm, joy, and peace.

Self-Regulate With Mini Mindful Moments

by Debbie Zuckerman, Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach 

I used to feel guilty about not being mindful enough. I felt like I was failing at mindfulness which in itself is counterproductive to what the practice is all about. Slowly but surely, I learned to reframe this limiting belief and release the judgments preventing me from experiencing the beauty of this practice.

My old belief was rigid. I thought that in order to have a “successful” mindfulness practice, it should be scheduled and consistent. I felt anxious searching for the best guided meditation. I had a hard time finding the “perfect” meditation as I scrolled through various meditation apps (amazing and abundant as they are). This belief led me to set unrealistic goals around my mindfulness practice that I was unable to achieve. 

Now, when I am “being” mindful, I am not “doing” mindful. My thoughts are no longer controlling my experience when I am present with my emotions, senses, and physical sensations. These days, my daily intention is to practice mini mindful moments to regulate my nervous system. I like to think of it as drinking water throughout the day to stay hydrated, rather than approaching the end of the day feeling dehydrated and drained.

A moment of mindfulness can be 10 seconds, one minute, or 10 minutes . . . and can be embraced most anywhere and anytime. It does take practice and commitment, and with time can become second nature. I like to incorporate mini mindful moments when “doing” routine household and other daily activities such as: folding laundry, emptying the dishwasher, watering the garden, playing with my dog, sitting at a red light, drinking my morning coffee, cutting vegetables, and more.

In these moments, I like to take a holistic inventory of my emotions, thoughts, and physical sensations. I incorporate deep belly breaths using box or diaphragmatic breathing and try to label my thoughts and emotions without judgment. The 5-4-3-2-1 grounding method comes in handy, and I may use tapping techniques, play music, or stretch, depending on what my nervous system needs.

If you are searching for a mindfulness practice that feels right for you, I am here to help! 

Schedule a session or contact me at debbie@centerpiecewellness.com to create, modify, or enhance YOUR mindfulness practice.

What Lifts You Up?

by Debbie Zuckerman, Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach 

What lifts you up when you are down?

Try a full belly breath or an upside-down frown.

How do you wake up to this moment in time?

Let go of triggering thoughts to embrace the sublime.

Can you allow unpleasant emotions to guide you through life?

Process what you feel to reduce physical strife.

And what about those uncomfortable physical cues?

Respond with compassion and self-care that YOU choose.

How do you respond instead of react?

Pause, breathe, feel, connect, validate, and state a fact.

What brings you true joy, calm, and peace?

Practice gratitude and notice if your worries decrease.

Click here to learn about my coaching services or contact me directly at debbie@centerpiecewellness.com.

Think SMART When Setting A Wellbeing Goal

by Debbie Zuckerman, Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach 

Ready to set a goal to improve your wellbeing?  Think SMART! 

SMART = Specific + Measurable + Actionable + Realistic + Time Bound 

This approach to goal-setting is intended to be more motivating and achievable than a goal that is vague, generic, and even guilt-ridden. 

Here is a guide to get you started with a SMART goal.

Specific - To what degree is your goal specific? The more specific the goal, the more likely you will be able to measure and achieve it. 

I will get 8 hours of quality sleep at least 5 nights a week.

Measurable - How will you measure success? Consider ways to measure in addition to tracking data, such as mood changes, physical improvements, and energy level. 

I will use a device to track quality sleep and journal about how I feel each morning and evening.

Actionable - What actions will you take to achieve your goal? Do you have the resources to make it happen? Would smaller steps be more manageable? 

I will need to get into bed 30 minutes prior to give myself time to fall asleep,
listen to relaxation music, and turn off technology by 9pm. 

Realistic - Does this goal align with your values? Is it a priority over other goals? Does it serve a purpose in your life? 

I want to improve my mood and energy levels so I can be more productive
and present at work and in my personal life - more sleep is a must! 

Time Bound - When will you start this goal and by when do you want to achieve it? 

I will sleep from 10:30pm-6:30am, Monday-Friday, starting next Monday, and will evaluate
my progress two weeks from now. I will modify my goal if needed at that time.

If you are looking to make a change, try this SMART goal approach and see where it takes you!

For more information about SMART goals or to book a session with me, click here or contact me at debbie@centerpiecewellness.com.

Stuck In The Process Of Change

by Debbie Zuckerman, Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach 

What causes a person to be stuck in the process of change, especially when the wellbeing goals they set seem to be good and common? While the actual cause varies, what keeps people stuck are the obstacles that get in their way. Some obstacles may be more obvious, like a lack of resources. Other obstacles may require self-awareness to understand the root cause, like fear of failure. One of the most common obstacles my coaching clients experience are goals that lack purpose. As a result, people find themselves chasing the same goals over and over again. They end up feeling discouraged, exhausted, and unmotivated.

Many clients say it feels like they are on a hamster wheel.

Examples of obstacles include:

• Goals without purpose 

• Goal overload

• Negative self-talk

• Fear of failure and being judged

• Insufficient boundaries 

• Perfectionism or procrastination

• Lack of accountability, resources, and support

I use the formula below as a guide to help people safely step off the hamster wheel.

Values + Strengths + Passions = Purpose > Intentional and Attainable Wellbeing Goals

Change is not linear and it’s normal to be stuck many times along the way. The good news is that recognizing you are stuck IS a step forward! When you feel stuck you may also notice sensations in your body like a clenched jaw. You may have thoughts like “I can’t do this!” that represent inaccurate beliefs that hold you back. 

Exploring what keeps you stuck and identifying your purpose will equip you to set realistic goals that lead to positive and meaningful wellbeing changes. 

 For more information about intentional goal-setting or to book a session with me, click here or contact me at debbie@centerpiecewellness.com.

Practice Mindfulness to Achieve Positive and Meaningful Changes

by Debbie Zuckerman, Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach 

Mindfulness is a key ingredient in making meaningful and lasting wellbeing changes. In my coaching practice, I incorporate mindfulness to help clients align their values, strengths, and passions to purposeful goals. We explore what keeps them stuck, identify the obstacles they want to overcome, and then focus on setting new or redefining existing goals. Mindfulness nourishes self-awareness, which I have witnessed personally and professionally to be the key to unlocking opportunities for positive change.

I define mindfulness as:

An intentional practice of bringing a curious, non-judgmental, and compassionate awareness to your thoughts, beliefs, emotions, body, and senses in the present moment - thereby connecting to your inner wisdom and clarifying your true needs.

Some of the benefits of mindfulness include improved focus, stress management, and decision making. Over time, a steady practice of mindfulness can help “rewire the brain,” (known as neuroplasticity) so you can learn healthy ways to respond rather than react to external and internal triggers. Mindfulness works to regulate your nervous system in moments of low to high emotional, mental, and physical reactivity.

To learn more, watch this 4-minute video on “The Neuroscience of Mindfulness and Fear” where Tara Brach, PhD describes the impact of mindfulness on the brain. 

For more information about my coaching approach, mindfulness, or to book a session with me, click here. Feel free to contact me at debbie@centerpiecewellness.com with questions.