Limiting Beliefs

By Susan Temple, MA, BCC, ACEP

When I was 11, I was invited to sing a duet with my friend, Sara, at a women’s luncheon at our church.  I loved to sing, but didn’t have much experience singing in front of people. Sara, on the other hand, was the youngest of six daughters who grew up singing harmony with her sisters around the baby grand piano every evening after dinner. To add to my nerves, my mom was much admired and very active in the church, so we would basically be singing for a bunch of her friends. Yikes! I was very nervous. And I had no self-help tools, no way of helping myself calm the nerves.

The appointed day arrived, and we stood in front of all the ladies, who had just finished their lunch. Sara was singing the high part, and I was providing the harmony. My entire body (and my voice) shook as we started, but all went well through the verse, which we sang in unison. But then came the chorus…I could not find the correct pitch in the spot where the harmony should have started. Sara kindly and adeptly dropped down into the harmony part to give me the note. And I, made stupid by fear, followed her voice right back up to the high part. I never did sing the harmony.

I was devastated, mortified, crushed by my failure. I don’t remember my mom’s reaction, but I’m sure she was embarrassed in front of her friends. And from that experience, I “learned” two things:  “I’m not very good at singing.” and “I’m too nervous to sing in front of people.” 

These two beliefs are an example of limiting beliefs: things we learn, usually as a result of experiences in our earlier years, that are not necessarily true. But they feel true. And we tend to live as if they were true.

Living as if I wasn’t very good at singing, and as if I was too nervous to sing in front of people, kept me from doing a lot of things I would have loved to do during my life. It’s only in my later years that I’ve been able to recognize these limiting beliefs and take steps to free myself.

What beliefs do you have that limit you? Or maybe you aren’t fully aware of them yet, but you have a sense that something is in your way. Click here for a worksheet that can help you identify and think through your limiting beliefs.

And, I can teach you how to use EFT (Tapping) to identify, release and reframe your limiting beliefs. If you’d like to share your thoughts about limiting beliefs–or anything else!–email me at susan@lifecoachsusantemple.com. I’d be happy to hear from you!

Allowing Awe

By Allison Runchey, HTCP

In anticipation of the solar eclipse, I read an article about the health benefits of experiencing awe. It made me pause and ask myself – how often in our busy, fast-paced world do I take the time to notice the beauty around me?

Like many people, I won’t see the total eclipse from where I live, but I will be able to catch a glimpse of a partial eclipse. Surely this is an extraordinary way to experience awe and reap its mental, physical, and emotional benefits. But what about all the other days, the ones that aren’t marked by a special occasion, celestial or otherwise? Where is awe on a run-of-the-mill sort of day?

It's easy for daily schedules to take up the moments that could otherwise be spent gazing at a colorful sunset, a flowing river, or the vibrant green of a newly sprouted plant in the spring. When this happens, we miss out on the peace and broader perspective that comes with awe.  But maybe it doesn’t have to be that hard, maybe awe doesn’t have to be something that requires extra time and effort, like a task on a to-do list.  Maybe it can be simpler than that, something that’s already part of our immediate surroundings, right here and now…and it’s just a matter of allowing awe to become part of our consciousness, part of our awareness.

A few things come to mind that we all experience every day:

• Billions of cells and neurons, woven together in our brains, make it possible to think, remember, and communicate.

• The force of gravity naturally grounds us to the earth, with no effort on our part, giving reassurance and stability with every step.

• Air, a life-giving substance that cannot be seen, moves continuously in and around us as we breathe. 

I invite you to open your eyes to the space around you and notice something that inspires a sense of awe. Allow your heart to be warmed with appreciation for it, and feel a glowing, soft energy inside. Allow the feeling of awe to envelope you, if even for a moment, and know that you can tap into it anywhere, anytime. 

Practice Mindfulness to Achieve Positive and Meaningful Changes

by Debbie Zuckerman, Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach 

Mindfulness is a key ingredient in making meaningful and lasting wellbeing changes. In my coaching practice, I incorporate mindfulness to help clients align their values, strengths, and passions to purposeful goals. We explore what keeps them stuck, identify the obstacles they want to overcome, and then focus on setting new or redefining existing goals. Mindfulness nourishes self-awareness, which I have witnessed personally and professionally to be the key to unlocking opportunities for positive change.

I define mindfulness as:

An intentional practice of bringing a curious, non-judgmental, and compassionate awareness to your thoughts, beliefs, emotions, body, and senses in the present moment - thereby connecting to your inner wisdom and clarifying your true needs.

Some of the benefits of mindfulness include improved focus, stress management, and decision making. Over time, a steady practice of mindfulness can help “rewire the brain,” (known as neuroplasticity) so you can learn healthy ways to respond rather than react to external and internal triggers. Mindfulness works to regulate your nervous system in moments of low to high emotional, mental, and physical reactivity.

To learn more, watch this 4-minute video on “The Neuroscience of Mindfulness and Fear” where Tara Brach, PhD describes the impact of mindfulness on the brain. 

For more information about my coaching approach, mindfulness, or to book a session with me, click here. Feel free to contact me at debbie@centerpiecewellness.com with questions.

Nurture and Soothe the Energy above your Shoulders

by Allison Runchey, Healing Touch Practitioner at The Healing House of Saint Paul

Virtual interactions with screens and wearable technology have become more and more commonplace as we collectively navigate the Covid-19 pandemic. During this time, many of us rely heavily on our heads, especially our brains, eyes, ears, and mouths to carry out our responsibilities for work or school, to express ourselves, and to connect with those we love. This reliance can demand that we give and take energy in the area above our shoulders more often. If we are tired, have a headache, neck pain, or simply feel a sense of cloudiness in our minds, it can be a sign that the energy exchanged through and around our heads is not flowing in a free and optimal way. To refresh and re-balance that energy, I invite you to try an energy healing practice called Self-Mind Clearing. By gently using your hands to facilitate energy flow, this practice can help reduce tension, relieve headaches, and calm anxious thoughts. Developed from the work of Rudy Noel, Self-Mind Clearing is a Healing Touchtechnique that anyone can use to nurture and soothe the energy field above the shoulders. I suggest using it as a break from technology, after a video call, or any other time that you feel you need it. If you’d like to share your experiences with Self-Mind Clearing, learn other energy healing techniques, or ask questions, please email me at allison_runchey@hotmail.com.

What Occupational Therapy Means to Me by Meghan Markson

What Occupational Therapy Means to Me

As an Occupational Therapist, my job is to help people navigate daily life with more ease to enhance their health and wellness.   My focus is to equip people with tools for life organization and stress management.  

With that perspective, I see people as feeling confident, successful, and fulfilled when three factors overlap positively: the person, their environment, and the occupations (activities) they engage in.   

For the person factor, we may identify personal values, set goals, look at barriers and how to overcome them, or determining the state of the physical, sensory, mental, emotional, and spiritual or energetic self. 

When addressing the environment factor, we may work on modifying the person’s surroundings so that it works better with their sensory preferences.    

With occupations, we may try body tapping, weighted blankets, time and energy management strategies, meditation or mindfulness activities, Craniosacral Therapy, Myofascial Release, Reiki, Healing Touch, Spring Forest Qigong, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), or other strategies. 

All in all, my goal is to help you shed some layers of stress and to find more clarity, peace, and organization in your life. Contact me for an initial consultation: meghan.markson@gmail.com

What is Liminal Space?

Liminal space is that place between what once was and what is waiting to happen. Unforeseen life changes, restlessness, or stuckness can be signs that you are in a liminal space. It may feel unsettling. The temptation is to cling to what is familiar. John Welwood writes, “In trying to fit new situations into old formulas, we lose the presence and stillness of mind out of which new insights emerge. Once we let go of old preconceptions, the next essential ingredient is a willingness to let ourselves rest in a state of “not knowing” for long enough to allow new solutions to come forth.” Stillness or a willingness to wait, is how we catch the numinous, that which is beckoning to us. Your deepest desires may be inching toward the surface of your conscious knowing. Dreams, journaling, spending time in nature, poetry, art and photography are tools to explore that which is beckoning you. In Liminality, the Soul not only becomes free but also awake. Is there an awakening inside you? Book an appointment today! www.healinghousesaintpaul.org

The Adult Task of Loving Self

Self-compassion and self-love is a necessity for the world.... here's why. When we refuse to love ourselves, we unknowingly give that task to others around us. When they do not love us in the way that we need, then we deem them unsafe and even, the enemy. Thus, the hostile disdain we actually feel for the self becomes too painful to bear and then is projected onto someone else. Now, our inability or refusal to love the self becomes a burden we have placed onto those around us.

We must pull back the projection and take on the adult task of loving ourselves. This takes practice and attention to the voices that sneak in to tell us we are unlovable. To not collude in the self-attack, takes courage and conscious intention. The brain can be reprogrammed for self love and compassion. This is the ONLY way to have real, healthy relationships.

Chronic self-attach is an epidemic in our culture. The Dali Lama was once asked about this concept of self-hatred, to which he replied, "I don't understand what you are asking me." There is no concept or Sanskrit term for self-hatred. If each person could learn how and commit to accepting and loving the self, we would not see enemies at every turn. We would not need to protect our psychological well being by projecting the self disdain onto others.

Self compassion is not just a nice idea, it is an absolute necessity. Please, take on the adult task of self-acceptance, love, and compassion. Do not make that someone else's job. Release those around you of this burden to bear.

Courage to Pursue Happiness

It takes more courage to be on the look out for goodness, what enlivens us, and makes us more whole. Its actually easier to stay stuck in what isn't working. To pursue one's unique sense of happiness may require something of you that you're not willing to give or give up. If you feel stuck in what you once thought should keep you safe and produce happiness, you may need some encouragement. "En-courage": to inspire with courage, spirit, or confidence. Take a step toward the direction your deepest knowing, Soul, may be luring you. Remember, courage is not the absence of fear but allowing the natural sensations of fear with compassion and moving forward. Set up an appointment today. Move toward happiness and your deepest longings. Click here to meet with Laure Schwartz, MA, LPC, Psychotherapist and Spiritual Director.

What is Wisdom?

Wisdom is obtained through the unpredictable, through risk, and through one's passions. Wisdom is not a way to keep "bad" things from happening. Wisdom is from the deeper places of the Soul and Heart that do not see the world as black or white, right or wrong. Wisdom often knows something that my conscious mind cannot yet see. Wisdom claws its way to the top, to my awareness, when its given a safe, non-judgmental place to be seen and heard. Wisdom is seldom focused on the practical. Wisdom demands courage. Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage feels all the human state of being with curiosity and compassion. Wisdom is truth. Truth is wisdom.

In the work I do and the approach I use, the client's wisdom will always appear in any given session. When given the respect, validation, and slowing down the pace, one's wisdom is at the ready, waiting to be heard. To listen to your wisdom, consider setting up an appointment with me, Laure Schwartz, at this link. Book Now.

Yes, You Are Creative....

In my private practice, I use mark-making, contour drawing, abstract imaging. At first, clients might be reluctant to take the charcoal and trust themselves, fearing the old messages of "I'm not creative. I can't draw." But once allowing the hand to move, the feel of the paper, it is mysterious and wonderful what is revealed. D. Winnicott once said, "It is in playing and only in playing that the individual child or adult is able to be creative and to use the whole personality, and its only in being creative that the individual discovers the Self." We access the Soul, the Self, when we stop judging long enough to feel the sensations of freedom, expansion, and truth. I have found that the creative process itself has been one of my truest guides. When I am feeling lost or under self-attack, I find my Self/Soul again when I stop to create something that has never been there before. Even if it is an orange liquor cake that I've never made before, or writing a blog, exploring a new class to teach, painting the bathroom door. It can be anything!!

I will be offering a workshop March 21, 2017 at the McIver Center, The Retreat, Wayazata. The title: Discovering Your Path: The Creative Process. When we feel lost or can't find our true direction, the creative process is a wonderful guide. Click here for more information 

Chronic Self-Attack

What is it? Chronic self-attack is a common thought process that holds many people prisoner. It keeps us from living freely and affects the brain, the nervous system, and our over-all sense of wellness. Are you your own bully? Paul Gilbert, in his book The Compassionate Mind, writes, “Imagine if someone is bullying you – always pointing out and dwelling on your mistakes or things that you’re unhappy with, or telling you that you’re no good and there’s no point in you trying anything, or being angry with you – all this will affect your stress systems and level of the stress hormone cortisol in your body will increase.  [Never escaping from the bully] makes you feel anxious, upset and unhappy because the threat/self-protection system in your brain has been triggered. If the criticism is harsh and constant, it may make you feel depressed. The point is: our own thoughts and imaginations can do the same… and we will be constantly stimulating our threat/self-protection system.” There is no escape or relief from the attacker. This can lead to any addiction that may hold some temporary relief. So, that’s startling. In my work with clients, I use the power of self-compassion, re-imaging in the brain, discovering where this strategy may have originated to keep-self-in-line. I use Somatic Experiencing to help regulate the nervous system and release the toxicity of the self-attack/trauma. You can find freedom and no longer be imprisoned by chronic self-attack. Set up an initial consultation with me, Laure Schwartz, and begin your healing.

Healing Anxiety, Depression, Addiction

Often times people think they are confined to a lifetime of managing anxiety, depression, or addiction. With an integrated approach to healing early developmental trauma, one can resolve that which has been unresolved in the nervous system for years or decades. Integrating Somatic Experiencing, a nervous system based trauma recovery, and repair images, one's Soul  and deepest knowing, it is possible to be free of these conditions. At The Healing House, we help heal the activated nervous system and fear driven brain. Without greater understanding of what happens developmentally, we will conclude "there is something wrong with me." Actually, there is something so very right about you. Your brilliance as a little person put in place a strategy to survive. It may be time to heal the wounds and let go of a worn out strategy. Are you ready to have healthy relationships, a sense of safety in your body and emotional life, and the courage to live your more authentic life? If so, consider a 1/2 hour free consultation with Laure Schwartz, MA, Psychotherapist, Spiritual Director, Somatic Experiencing Trauma Recovery Therapist. You can book online on our front page!

Emotion and Experience

It seems that many people are afraid of their emotional experience, especially if the emotion is deemed undesirable. Or if you have witnessed a strong emotion become hurtful, the promise to self becomes, "I'll never do that. I'll never let myself feel that." When an emotion is resisted, it actually becomes stronger and stronger.  Emotion is actually a necessary part to the integration of your experience. The psyche needs integration and when the emotion goes into the unconscious due to rejection, life can feel chaotic, as if someone else is in charge, calling the shots. Sometimes to the point of "Why did I do that? What was I thinking? Who have I become?" Instead, I teach people how to be with their deepest experience and emotion without trying to judge it as good/bad, right/wrong. All emotion is useful and necessary for making sense of experience. Once validated and honored, the emotion moves through as if to say, "thank you for noticing."

Meditation and Fire

Jon Kabat-Zinn, a mindfulness meditation teacher writes, "There are times when you have to light one fire to put out another. There are no drugs that will make you immune to stress or to pain or that will by themselves magically solve your life's problems or promote healing. It will take conscious effort on your part to move in a direction of healing. This means learning to work with the very stress and pain that is causing you to suffer. Mindfulness meditation does not involve trying to get anywhere or feel anything special. Rather it involves allowing yourself to be where you already are, to become more familiar with your own actual experience moment by moment." No one gets to escape the human condition. While we might try to mask it for a time, our deepest experience will at some point, get our attention. And when it does, it feels like fire. May you have the courage to look into the flames with loving kindness for yourself.

One of our many back yard bonfires with dear friends who are willing to look into the flames along side us.

Discover Your Inner Healer

"The person we want most to love us is ourself. ... The sense of unworthiness, it seems, comes out of our being talked out of, trained out of, conditioned out of trusting our natural being. It is the result of being turned away from ourselves, taught to distrust ourselves. ... The more we accept of ourselves, the more fully we experience the world. The more we accept our anger, our loneliness, our desire systems, the more we can hear others and the more we can hear ourselves. When we can surrender into the moment without any attachment so that anything that arises is seen with a soft, non judging mind, we experience our completeness." Stephen Levine, A Gradual Awakening
Dogs know this. Trooper was a big part of my understanding love of self and a glimpse of completeness. Miss you buddy.