Talking to Your Heart

By Allison Runchey, HTCP

Image credit: Manuchi from Pixabay

Over the summer I decided to re-read one of my favorite books, The Alchemist by Paolo Coelho. It’s an uplifting story of a boy who dreams of hidden treasure and goes in search of it. His life takes many turns as he chooses to leave his familiar and stable surroundings to follow an inner calling, his Personal Legend. The story is beautifully crafted to tell the practical and spiritual lessons he learns along the way. Each time I’ve read it, I find inspiration, courage, and insights to follow my own life’s purpose. Perhaps you have a beloved book that awakens your inner strength to pursue your unique path, too. If you don’t, I suggest giving The Alchemist a try.

One aspect of the story that I find especially meaningful is how the boy learns to connect with his heart. We have all probably been told to listen to our hearts, but sometimes what the heart has to say seems confusing, emotionally painful, or scary. When this happens, there can be a tendency to shut down or stop listening altogether, which cuts us off from our sense of wholeness. But the heart continues to speak even if it’s pushed to the background. In The Alchemist, the boy learns not only to listen, but to talk to his heart. He notices its ups and downs as well as its fears, reassuring it that “the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself.” He dialogues with his heart, eventually trusting it and knowing himself better.

I think we can all benefit from listening to our hearts as well as talking to them. It harmonizes our intellect with our intuition, honoring both of them as valuable parts of our whole, authentic selves. When I’ve done this, I’ve felt more courageous and less anxious. If in the quiet moments your heart is saying something – whether it’s a shout or a whisper – listen to it. Then try telling it what you are thinking and listen again to what it says in reply. See if you can have a conversation between your heart and mind.

“The boy and his heart had become friends, and neither was capable of betraying the other.” – Paulo Coehlo

Are Low Expectations Ever Good?

We are often encouraged to set high expectations for ourselves. Is it ever helpful to lower them?

My 30-year marriage ended when I was 60. Suddenly, my future looked very different than I had expected. I was faced with some big decisions. Was I going to give up and decide my life was over? Or did I want to try to create a new life for myself? What would that even look like? I had no idea. I only knew I wanted a meaningful, lively life.

One of the things I did to create my lively life was to re-explore some activities that I had loved when I was younger. I had been busy raising five daughters and teaching kindergarten, so it was hard to even remember what I used to do. Now I had time to listen to the urgings of my heart, watch for glimmers of interest, and see what sounded like fun.

I had been in plays in high school and loved the camaraderie of being part of a theatre group and the rush of being in front of an audience. I had not done anything like that in more than 40 years. I felt a glimmer of interest about doing something with theatre, so when I saw that a beloved local theatre was offering storytelling classes for people 55 and older, I thought, “This might be it!” and I signed myself up.

At the first class, we all sat in a big circle facing each other. I was so self-conscious that I kept arranging and rearranging the position of my hands on my lap, thinking they looked weird. My heart was pounding. I seriously considered getting up and leaving, never to return. I was terrified of speaking in front of the group, sure that I would embarrass myself, or not be good enough at whatever we were going to do. I tried to breathe, to remind myself that this was something I was choosing to do, and that it would get easier. I thought again about the lively life I wanted to create, the friends I hoped to meet. I stayed.

Each week it got a little easier to go to the class, a little more fun, and I was little more relaxed. The people in the class were interesting and funny. I enjoyed talking with them and loved their heartfelt stories. Then came the next big challenge: we were going to do a performance in the evening, in the theatre, in front of our friends and families. When I had practiced my story in front of my classmates, my knees wobbled, my voice shook, and it was hard to get a deep breath. I managed to do it anyway. But doing the performance would mean standing up in front of many more people—people with whom I had no relationship. I was petrified.

I was home alone all day on Sunday, the day before the performance. I paced and practiced my story. I thought repetitively about backing out of performing. “I don’t have to do this. Maybe just taking the class is a big enough step for me. Is it even helpful if it gets me so upset?” For most of the day, I was thinking I would text my teacher, saying I wasn’t coming. But I didn’t do it.

As evening approached, I started thinking about my classmates, and the stories that they had been preparing. I realized that I didn’t want to miss hearing them tell those stories. I didn’t want to miss this experience with them. To avoid that, I’d have to tell my story.

It occurred to me that part of what was making me so miserable was my own expectations. I expected myself to get up there and “wow” the audience, do a great job, amaze people. It was not a very realistic expectation for someone who hadn’t been on a stage in over 40 years. So I made a conscious decision to lower my expectations. I decided that if I managed to stand up in front of the people and say some words I would call it a win.

I told my story that night. I was shaking, but I definitely met my expectation of standing up and saying some words. I made the people laugh. I felt that rush. I enjoyed my classmates’ stories. And, wow, did that ever feel lively!

Joy

By Susan Temple, MA, BCC, ACEP

The Oxford Dictionary defines joy as “a feeling of great pleasure or happiness.” It seems to me that joy comes to us in two ways. One is when something happens spontaneously that brings us a feeling of joy or pleasure. It doesn’t have to be something huge; I felt joy last weekend when I saw my 5-year-old granddaughter take the hand of my 1-year-old granddaughter to help her walk. The other way we can experience joy is by intentionally doing things or exposing ourselves to experiences that we know will lift our hearts and help us feel joy. For me, that is usually something related to music or other art forms.

When was the last time you felt joy? We often get busy with day-to-day life and forget to do the things that make our heart sing and add joy to our lives. Some of us may have even forgotten what it was that once brought us joy. And for some people, the word “joy” might feel too big, like it’s an expectation that can’t be fulfilled. If that is how you feel, consider using the words “pleasure” or “happiness” or even “delight” instead. Here’s a little exercise to help you reconnect with joy (or pleasure, happiness or delight) in your life:

Grab your journal or some paper and answer the following question for each decade of life you’ve lived so far, for example: ages 0-10, 11-20, 21-30, up to your current decade.

What brought me joy during that decade?

When you get to your current decade, ask yourself:

What brings me joy now?

Then answer these questions:

Are there any common themes throughout my life?

How many of my joy-bringers are still a part of my life?

Are there any past joy-bringers that I might like to bring back into my current life?

What makes that hard to do?

What is one tiny step I can take toward including more joy in my life?

Write one specific action you will take to include more joy in your life. When will you take it?

If and when you take that tiny step, notice how you feel. Consider when and how you can add these joy-bringers to your life more often.

I’d love to hear how this went for you. Email me at susan@lifecoachsusantemple.com if you try this out!

Relationships Over Tasks

By Allison Runchey, HTCP

If you find yourself in situations where you interact with another person to accomplish a task, this is for you.

I had an opportunity like this a few days ago when I was asked to help with a technology-related task but wasn’t quite sure how to accomplish it — and neither was the other person. As I drove to their home, I felt somewhat anxious. Rather than strategizing or analyzing exactly how to solve the problem, I began to think quietly about the quality of the interaction I hoped to have with them, even if we weren’t able to figure it out. I considered how I could at the very least strengthen the relationship between us by bringing the energies of kindness, lightheartedness, acceptance, and patience. By calling to mind these qualities and affirming them within me, I felt my own energy shift from jumpy nervousness to calm trust, knowing that one way or another the interaction would be beneficial.

This experience led me to think about the importance of intention, one of the basic principles of energy healing. In other words, energy has an inherent wisdom and follows the intention held in the mind and heart to go where it is most needed for the highest good of those involved.

This is not a linear concept and takes letting go of perfection. Sometimes the outcome is not what’s expected. But even so, shifting the intention to value the relationship more than the task accomplished allows the situation to feel easier and flow more smoothly. Gratefully, I can report that in the case of the technology problem, we were able solve it successfully and had a good time doing so.

Building Confidence

By Susan Temple, MA, BCC, ACEP

How do you build confidence in yourself?  I used to think that you had to have confidence to do things outside of your comfort zone.  I learned from coach Rhonda Britten that it’s actually the opposite—you build your confidence by doing things outside your comfort zone.  You have to be willing to feel the fear and discomfort and do it anyway.  Here’s a story I wrote a few years ago about one of my own experiences building confidence outside my comfort zone:

“I had a note on my calendar to go to a cafe in St. Paul to hear some old friends play music. It was Saturday night. Remember how it felt in high school, if you had nothing to do on a Saturday night?  I’m 65 and divorced, and I still feel like a bit of a loser if I have nothing to do and no one to do it with, on Saturday night. Maybe I haven’t quite grown up. I’ve learned that I feel better when I plan ahead and go somewhere, see some folks. I had talked with a friend about going to the café together.

My friend was a “maybe” to start with and ended up being unable to go. Ah, there’s the rub. It’s too late in the day to find someone else. Do I go alone? There may be people I know in the audience, but they would all be more like acquaintances. What does it look like when I show up alone? Do people think it’s sad? Am I, in fact, a loser? And I’ll have to drive all the way up there alone. Is it safe to walk from the place to the car alone, after dark? Am I too tired? Do I really want to go? Is it worth it?  Fear was on patrol, trying to keep me in my comfort zone, keep me safe.

I knew if I didn’t go, I’d spend the evening vegging on the couch. I reminded myself that I’m committed to doing things that lift my heart and soul, and music does that for me.  So, I took a shower, got dressed, and headed out.

There was one more blip, one more opportunity to let fear run the show. I was about a third of the way there when I discovered I’d forgotten my phone. Oh boy, should I turn back? Is it safe to go out at night by myself without a phone? What if I have a problem, how will I call someone? Should I go and get the phone? Or forget the whole thing?

I wasn’t sure if it was the sensible thing to do, to keep heading north, but I reminded myself that I went places without phones for most of my life. I reminded myself of the time in California when I had a flat tire and a dead phone and I was by myself in unfamiliar territory, and I figured it out. Lived to tell the tale, repeatedly.  I remembered that some of my best memories come from times when I was a little shy of sensible.

I enjoyed the evening. I noticed another woman sitting alone at a table and thought she was brave and interesting, not a loser. I talked with some nice folks and enjoyed the music. I got home safely, feeling content. And, I will feel more confident the next time, because I took this risk, this step outside my comfort zone.

Is there a tiny step you’d be willing to take, to build your confidence?  Go for it!

Speaking Up

By Allison Runchey, HTCP

Use your voice, find your voice, speak your voice… These phrases are common expressions. Maybe someone has said them to encourage you to share your inner thoughts, to affirm what you want or don’t want, or to make your needs known to others. I have heard them a lot lately in relation to events, changes, and uncertainty in our world, urging me to use my energy and my voice in support of peace, equality, and compassion.

“When we speak with clarity and conviction, we engage in the creative process, calling forth the life we desire. Self-advocacy affirms the divine presence within. In a world where injustices and inequities persist, we must not shrink from speaking up. We begin by advocating for ourselves, and we must also advocate for others...”  (Soni Cantrell-Smith)

In this way, our voices can be like a doorway between our inner hopes and knowing, and our outer expression in the world. I have found that when these two aspects are aligned, I feel energized and whole. When they aren’t, or when I don’t speak up for myself or others, I feel depleted, angry, and closed off. It’s as if the doorway is shut and I can literally feel a lump in my throat. Perhaps you have noticed something similar in your experience. 

This is when the 5th Chakra or Vishudda, an energy center located within the throat, can support us to courageously speak our truth.  It’s linked to the vocal cords, neck, and jaw, which can become tight and tense under stress, making it more difficult to speak. In simple and practical terms, we can release this type of stuck energy by taking a few breaths, relaxing the muscles around the throat, and slowly moving the head as if saying “yes” and “no.” Next, we can hum a favorite tune or write our words down before speaking them aloud in order to build the energy and courage we need to voice an opinion or make a choice.  

Our words carry vibrations and energy that affect our lives and our world. How are you using, finding, or speaking with your unique voice?

Rest

By Susan Temple, MA, BCC, ACEP

Do you ever think about what is restful to you? It’s not something that is talked about much in our culture, which is focused so heavily on doing. There is nothing wrong with being productive, but when we don’t allow time for balance between productivity and rest, we can find ourselves in a never-ending cycle of doing. So long as we are living, there will be things that we need to “get done.” Many of us think we can’t rest until we are done with all the things, which means we don’t allow space for rest until we are so exhausted or sick that we have no choice. But happily, we can learn how to create space for rest in our lives.

I’m currently reading Courtney Carver’s book, “Gentle: Rest More, Stress Less, and Live the Life You Actually Want.” Courtney is a coach who teaches people how to simplify their lives so that they can be more fully present and LIVING, not just doing. She has created habits in her own life that make space for rest, and that keep her feeling more present and relaxed. She calls them “The New Rules of Rest,” and I think they are worth sharing.

Courtney Carver’s New Rules of Rest

1. Thou shalt read at least a few pages of a good book or listen to relaxing music and enjoy a cup of tea before checking email or social media in the morning.

2. Thou shalt take a nap or a bath long before there is a check mark next to every single thing on thine to-do list.

3. Thou shalt not wait for the weekend to rest or for a vacation to relax.

4. Thou shalt not apologize for resting and relaxing.

5. Before finishing the dishes or cleaning up the house, thou shalt watch an episode of Gilmore Girls or go for a walk.

6. Thou shalt ease through hard days instead of pushing through them.

7. When people tell thee, “No pain, no gain” or “I’m so busy” or “I can sleep when I’m dead,” though shalt gently tell people to eff off or simply smile and share this book with them.

8. Thou shalt use free time to be free, not to catch up (and there shalt be no worrying about catching up after rest and relaxation).

9. Thou shalt not compare thine productivity or busyness to the productivity or busyness of others, understanding that it only glorifies the thing that is tearing us down and wearing us out.

10. Thou shalt relax and claim thine rest as a right not a reward.

If all of this sounds radical to you, you’re not alone. It’s not what most of us have learned to do. If the idea of learning to consciously add more rest and ease into your life appeals to you, Courtney suggests starting any of these rules with a tiny step. For example, for #1, you could start with reading one page of a good book when you wake up in the morning, adding more pages as that feels good to you. For #6, if you’re having a hard day, ask yourself, “What is one tiny thing I could do right now to give myself more ease?” Allow yourself to wonder what is restful for you and take tiny steps toward adding more of that to your life. What “Rules of Rest” would you want to follow?

I’d love to hear your thoughts and feelings about this idea of resting. You can reach me at susan@lifecoachsusantemple.com. For more from Courtney Carver, go to www.bemorewithless.com. If you sign up for her email list, you will get lots of free tips on how to simplify your life.

The Energy of Play

By Allison Runchey, HTCP

With summertime now in full bloom, I’ve noticed myself naturally attuning to a more relaxed, light-hearted energy within and around me. Especially here in Minnesota, the long, warm summer days and lush, green landscapes bring a sense of ease coupled with the natural excitement of new growth.

There’s a playful atmosphere with music in the parks, lakeside beaches, and gardens blossoming. But for many adults, including myself, somewhere along the path of “growing up,” we may have traded playfulness for accomplishments and productivity. This can make us feel like playfulness is only a visitor rather than a permanent resident in our day to day lives. Ah, what to do!?

Image by Alexas_Fotos from Pixabay

We each have our own inner, fun-loving kid within us and our own unique sense of what “play” means to us. Whenever we play, it returns us to our full, vibrant, authentic selves. Even if we’re working, bringing a playful energy to our tasks can help lift our spirits. Most people intuitively know it’s important for our wellbeing to make time for fun. But, if your grown-up self needs a bit of convincing about how play can help you, here are a few ways:

• It brings our attention to the present. We can let go of stories of the past or worries about the future, at least for the moment

• We can let go of the pressure to produce an outcome. Rather, we follow our hearts without judgement, and without an expectation to get something “right.”

• Play effortlessly restores a sense of joy and doesn’t need to take a lot of money or time. A few minutes doing what we love can make a difference.

• It clears the emotional aspects of our energy fields, allowing us to release resentments, anger, and fear.

• It helps open the flow of energy within ourselves and among groups. To paraphrase a beloved Energy Healing teacher, Janet Marinelli - when there’s laughter, the energy is flowing.

Next time you find yourself laughing or playing, take a moment to sense what’s happening for you physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually. Everyone is different. How does your energy change when you’re doing something you enjoy?

Breaking the Pot

By Susan Temple, MA, BCC, ACEP

I am a notoriously terrible gardener, known for killing all manner of plants without even trying. I always say I'm good at growing kids, not plants.

Once in a while, I get a plant that lives for a long time under my "care." I have one right now that has been alive in my home for at least six years—might be a record! I do repot it once in a while and today was the day. I've done this before, and it was always easy to get it out of the pot and into its new home.

Root bound

But today, when I went to take it out of the pot, it was so root bound that it wouldn't budge.

Break the pot

I had to actually break the pot with a hammer to get it out.

Free to thrive

The dear thing was actually still growing, despite its cramped conditions, but I'm excited to see what it does now that it has lots of space to grow and thrive.

I was sharing these photos with my daughter when it occurred to me that there have been times in my life when I've been root bound, tethered to a situation that no longer allows me to grow and thrive. I had to "break the pot" to leave my first college and transfer to one that was a better fit. I had to "break the pot" to leave a good teaching job for a school that was a better fit for me and my beliefs about kids and teaching. And I had to "break the pot" to leave my long marriage so I could move towards becoming who I am meant to be.

Are there times in your life when you've had to "break the pot"? It's not easy, it can be scary, and there will be some grief about what you've left behind. But sometimes it's necessary for growth. I'd love to hear about your experiences of "breaking the pot." Email me at susan@lifecoachsusantemple.com.

Choosing the Gentle Path

By Allison Runchey, HTCP

One evening last week I found myself faced with the choice of whether to swim as I often enjoy doing, or rest because of some manageable yet persistent joint pain. I chose to rest. This may sound like a simple choice, but it echoed larger energy patterns and led me to see that I needed to take a gentle path not only that night, but in many areas of my life.

Maybe you’ve had an example like this in your life, too - a seemingly small decision where you let go of a plan or agenda when circumstances changed, rather than pushing forward at all costs.

Image by jplenio from Pixabay

Taking the gentle path allows us to not only feel immediate relief when we’re tired, in pain, or stressed, but it restores and builds energy for the future. Although energy – or life force – is unlimited, our personal ability to access and use it for our wellbeing changes over time depending on our choices. If we tend to expend a lot of energy through chronic working, busy-ness, and activity, we may not allow ourselves to receive enough in-flow of life force to experience a sense of wholeness, clarity, vibrancy, and health.

This is a life-long lesson for many people, and it takes courage. We may know inside that we need rest and rejuvenation, and yet there are expectations, deadlines, or plans that pressure us to keep going. Choosing the gentle path may mean finding ways to open up a space for the energies of kindness and compassion to surround our actions toward ourselves and others. This may take some creativity and look different for everyone.

What does your gentle path look like today? What restores your life-force, your energy?

May we each find the courage to choose a gentle path today.

Inspiration

By Allison Runchey, HTCP

Have you felt excited to take action in your community, create art, or write in a journal? Or the opposite, felt that you needed or wanted to do something but came up blank? As I sat down to write this article and found myself searching for inspiration, I decided to look deeper into the phenomenon of inspiration itself and share some thoughts on it.

From a holistic perspective, inspiration has physical, spiritual, and mental layers, some of which we may notice more than others. In the body, it can feel like a burst of energy, a sense of aliveness, or feeling of being grounded right where we are. Spiritually, it brings enthusiasm, authenticity, meaningful direction, and connection to the divine or something greater than ourselves. And on a mental level, inspiration creates heightened alertness, imagination, and the ability to focus.

I find it interesting that inspiration can come from both good and bad, pleasant and unpleasant experiences. On the one hand, it’s inspiring to be with people or pets we love, see a beautiful picture, read an interesting book, or follow up on something that piques our curiosity in a positive way. On the other hand, aspects of life or the world that we don’t like, injustices, and feelings of anger or compassion for another’s suffering, can all inspire actions that lead to change.

Once we’re gifted with inspiration, what do we choose to do with it? Taking action right away can be fulfilling and build momentum toward even greater aspirations, if we have time - or ability to make time - to follow our insights. But sometimes it’s not that simple. Other aspects may come into play when deciding what to do with inspiration, including doubts and fears that our ideas aren’t “good enough.” If that happens, we run the risk of ignoring our soul’s calling or feeling stifled. On a practical level, maybe we’re busy with other commitments or don’t have the resources to take action. In that case writing down the idea or taking a picture can capture the spark so that the fire of imagination can be reignited later.

And that leads me to a closing thought - however we find inspiration and whatever we decide to do with it, may it lead us to create or re-create our lives and our world with joy, health, and peace for all.

A Reflection on You

By Debbie Zuckerman, TICC, NBC-HWC, MA
Trauma-Informed, Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach

Feeling off and out of sorts

Overwhelmed by too many things

Relationships, caregiving, health, world events, work, daily household tasks …

There’s one of you with only so much energy to spare

How can you focus on what’s in your control; recharge and be accountable to yourself?

You absorb others’ emotions and beliefs, but what about your own

It’s time to prioritize yourself, find your truth, sort through all those spiraling thoughts

What’s important to you, what do you love, what strengths have helped you get to this point?

Listen closely … to your inner world, to that part of you that’s wise, compassionate, discerning …

The part that wants to find inner peace, feel confident, and heal

Let that part be your guide when you pay attention inside - the part that lights up when you look up at that eagle in the sky

When you learn to trust you, all of you - emotions and physical sensations as cues

Your mindful insight will surface and be profound

Your fears, try not to judge them, they are there for a reason … what other purpose might they serve?

Is it time to rest, say no to that person and event, let go of that task?

Allow the healthy guilt to pass as a new boundary surfaces

Positive change starts from within; with the help of those around you who are safe and truly see you

What if you could find your wellbeing groove …. imagine the possibilities if you embrace the whole of you

My purpose is to help you make that intentional move

Release: Simple ways to free your energy and move through your day

By Allison Runchey, HTCP

Image by Mohamad Hassan, via Pixabay

I’ve often heard people describe their energy as “stuck” or “blocked” when they feel something weighing heavily on their mind or in their heart. This sense of being weighed down can show up alongside sadness, fear, or tiredness. It’s common for any of us to feel that our energy level is low, held back, or sluggish from time to time, so thought I’d share a few ideas about it here.  In addition to Healing Touch sessions to restore a natural flow of energy, there many things you can do on your own to release tension in everyday life.

An underlying concept that’s helpful to keep in mind is that energy is neutral, neither good nor bad. Having a sense of neutrality about “stuck” or “blocked” energy can relieve any underlying judgement about it and foster an attitude of compassion and acceptance.  Also, energy cannot be created or destroyed, but sometimes it can be congested in certain areas of the body. I like to compare it to a stream when too many branches and leaves fall into it, or a highway with too many cars. In both cases the flow slows down with an excess of energy in one place.

Knowing this, what can you do when your energy feels tightly bound? Below are four ways to free it up. Everyone is unique; I invite you to be curious and experiment with these, modifying them to fit your needs.

• Engage your muscles or your spirit: Take a walk or listen to your favorite music. It doesn’t have to be for a long time, even a few minutes can make a difference. Either of these actions can build momentum - physically or spiritually - and shift you into a higher level of energy to move forward with your day. Doing both together can multiply the benefit.

• Use your hands: Sense where you feel “stuck” or “blocked” in your body - perhaps it’s your shoulders, chest or belly. Place one or both hands gently on that area with an intention of warmth and kindness. Allow a few minutes for the muscles to soften and tension to be released.

• Breathe: Using the ever-available power of your breath, imagine that you are breathing in and out the place in your body where you feel unease or heaviness. Then picture your breath flowing through your entire body and out into the space about 1-3 feet around you. This can be done with eyes open or closed anytime you have a moment to be quiet, whether you’re alone or in public.

• Shake it off! Literally, stand up and move your arms, legs, or whole body for a minute or even just a couple seconds. Try doing this a few times, resting in between, then see how you feel.  Shaking is one of the body’s natural ways of discharging excess energy and restoring a sense of ease and balance.

Did you find one that works for you? You’ll know it if you feel a bit more uplifted in your outlook, able to move through your day, or lighter in your body or soul. Still needing help to release what feels “stuck” or “blocked”? We’re here for you. Find support by scheduling a Healing Touch, Vocal Healing, Tapping, Coaching, Somatic Experiencing, or Therapy session.

Look Within to Achieve Intentional Goals

By Debbie Zuckerman, Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach

Can you think of something you do on a routine basis that comes naturally and without hesitation? You feel motivated to do it because it has a purpose. It’s meaningful to you. Here are some possible activities to help you brainstorm: 

• Petting your dog or cat

• Going on a walk

• Volunteering

• Cooking or baking

• Visiting with a friend

• Spending time with your child or partner

• Reading

• Meditating

• Cleaning/organizing  

• Mowing the lawn

• Decorating 

• Starting or completing a house/work project

It doesn’t have to cost money, but if it does that works too! Once you have something in mind (feel free to write it down), reflect on the following questions:

1. How and why is it important to you? (VALUES)

2. What skills do you use to make it happen? (STRENGTHS)

3. What do you like/love about it? (PASSIONS)

VALUES + STRENGTHS + PASSIONS = PURPOSE AND MEANING >

INTENTIONAL SMART GOALS > DESIRED CHANGE

If you are able to answer all three questions, then it most likely has meaning and purpose for you. When an activity has more meaning, your motivation to accomplish tends to be higher, leading to desired change. 

Now, think of a change you desire in your personal or professional life. In order to achieve a meaningful change, it is essential to set an intentional goal that is realistic for you to pursue. A goal with purpose that keeps you motivated. How might you create a SMART goal to support your desired change using the formula above and answering questions 1-3? Once you have established your intention and purpose, how you get there will be aligned with your values, strengths, and passions. This approach will keep you motivated to take the next step and beyond toward your desired change. 

To learn more, receive coaching support, and gather effective resources to set and achieve intentional SMART goals that support your desired changes (personal and professional), schedule a session or contact me at debbie@centerpiecewellness.com.

Snow...an Invitation to Accept Complexity

By Allison Runchey, HTCP

Looking outside after a recent snowfall, I noticed my thoughts went first to the logistical challenges of driving and how much extra time I’d need to get to my destination. But as I gazed a little longer, I started to be curious about the healing properties of snow. After all, it’s made of water just like rain, which is known for it’s soothing and cleansing qualities. So how about snow?

Image by Franz Bachinger

Depending on our age, life experience, or plans for the day, a snowy morning can bring a wide array of emotions. Kids might become especially joyful to play outside in the fluffy white wonderland, and skiers may delight in rushing down the slopes. Others might be wary of falling on the ice or feel bogged down with shoveling.

Whatever our initial reactions, a fresh snowfall offers opportunities to support our personal healing as well as the well-being of our environment. Because it contains the entire color spectrum, the color white can symbolize the spiritual concepts of wholeness and possibilities – concepts that help build a sense of meaning and hope in life. And noticing how it covers the entire landscape in a pristine blanket of brilliant light can bring feelings of calmness, appreciation, and awe. Looking at it from a broader perspective, the sparkling reflection from snow balances the entire energy of the Earth. According to the National Snow and Ice Data Center, it helps keep the planet cool by reflecting solar energy back into space.

By combining these healing properties with the realities of shoveling, driving, and icy sidewalks, perhaps snow is a reminder to open up to the complexities of our world. Rather than seeing it as all good or all bad, maybe there’s a hidden message in snow, asking us to cherish the uplifting aspects of life while doing the work needed to address the challenges we face.

Finding Relief Through Guided Imagery

By Debbie Zuckerman, Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach

Do you have a safe and comforting place you can go to calm and reset your nervous system when feeling stressed and overwhelmed? Perhaps you have a physical location at home, work, or in your community where you can retreat. Maybe it’s a coffee shop, gym, grocery store, lake, ocean, cabin, mountain, skating rink, wellness center, pickleball court, or place of prayer.  

What if you had access to a safe and comforting mindfulness retreat, 24/7, that does not require travel or a financial investment? 

The good news is that if you are reading this, then you do! It’s just a matter of unlocking it! 

Guided imagery is key to satisfying our human need for safety, calm, and peace. This mindful practice that integrates your imagination, breath, and senses, is intended to alleviate emotional, mental, and physical discomfort. As a mind-body practice, it gives you the freedom to practice anywhere for any amount of time. You can choose to listen to a guided imagery meditation led by someone else, read a script, or guide yourself.

Guided imagery is an evidence-based complementary therapy and meditation practice that can be beneficial for managing symptoms related to chronic health conditions, including anxiety, depression, PTSD, irritable bowel syndrome, fibromyalgia, and rheumatoid arthritis. It can also help during preoperative care and with pain management. 

Guided imagery can also support behavioral change around lifestyle habits, emotional regulation (intelligence), and cognitive reframing. For example, if you have a fear of going to the dentist, it can be used during an actual dental procedure. If falling asleep is challenging, a little guided imagery can go a long way to relax your body and mind, and help you drift into sleep sooner. You can also use guided imagery to effectively accomplish goals related to nutrition and exercise through visualization. Athletes, performers, and speakers use it to prepare themselves before an event. 

Like other mindfulness practices, guided imagery can be used personally and professionally to improve one’s overall sense of wellbeing.

Once you get the hang of it, there is no right or wrong way to practice guided imagery. With practice and patience, you can learn to trust your imagination and inner wisdom to lead you to intentional outcomes like finding peace, calm, confidence, motivation, healing, and goal attainment. I like to think of guided imagery as a ‘mini-vacation’ to reset your nervous system. I also equate it to drinking water throughout the day to stay properly hydrated and energized, while flushing out all the ‘stuff’ in your system you no longer need. 

To learn more and receive coaching support and effective resources for your guided imagery practice, schedule a session or contact me at debbie@centerpiecewellness.com.

What Do You Need Right Now?

By Susan Temple, MA, BCC, ACEP

Maybe you are feeling a sense of heaviness right now. I know I am. It’s a challenging time of year for many, with the darkness and the cold. Events in the world seem ever more chaotic and frightening. So, what do you need right now?

We hear a lot about self-care, and if you spend any time on social media, it can seem that self-care means dermaplaning your face, having your nails done, and getting a Brazilian blowout (what is that anyway?). There is nothing wrong with taking care of your body or making yourself feel beautiful in the ways that work for you. But the self-care that can make a real difference in your level of contentment in life is something deeper.

Deep self-care involves slowing down, maybe even sitting down, and just being with your thoughts and feelings. Allowing what is true for you right now to come to the surface. Asking yourself, “What do you need right now?” 

Here are some other practices that can help you practice deep self-care:

• Practice noticing how you feel under different circumstances. How do you feel if you spend 20 minutes scrolling Instagram? How do you feel when you spend time with certain people? How do you feel if you spend a lot of time alone? The answers will be unique to you. When I first began living alone after my divorce, I discovered that if I went more than three days without in-person contact with people I care about, I started to feel depressed. So, I set up my life to make sure I saw people regularly. Other people might thrive with lots of alone time, so they might need to create that in their life.

• Practice acknowledging yourself daily. Use a journal to write down three things every day that you’d like to acknowledge yourself for. Acknowledge yourself for any baby step forward, for any self-care, for anything you’ve done or even thought that leans toward life and health and hope. When I first started regularly exercising, I felt overwhelmed at the prospect. So, I told myself that I’d go the Y and ride the recumbent bike for five minutes three times a week, and call it a win. I wrote it on my calendar and in my acknowledgment journal every time I did it. That five minutes slowly got longer and longer, and soon I had a habit going.

• Practice asking for help. This can be a hard one for many people. We want to be independent, we don’t want to be a burden, we want to show that we can handle things. But remember how good it feels to help and support someone you love? Give that gift to others. Let them help you.

• Practice consciously choosing activities that nourish you. I don’t mean that you have to schedule every day with perfection. Just practice choosing one activity a week that you know will feed your soul and make you feel better. Maybe it’s seeing a certain someone, maybe it’s listening to music, or moving your body, or making art, or playing a sport, or sitting in a cozy coffee shop and dreaming.

And that guilt about taking care of yourself while others are suffering? Let it go. You are no good to anyone if you don’t take care of yourself. Take care of yourself, and you can be one of the helpers.

Turning Down the Power of Pain

By Allison Runchey, HTCP

Whether you have a sore hip, shoulder, knee, or some other type of physical discomfort, pain can be draining emotionally and mentally. It can often limit daily activities and even influence life choices. If you’ve experienced this, I can relate to you because I’ve been there. For several years, chronic pain made it difficult to do things I enjoy, like taking a walk, dancing, and swimming. After trying several ways to address it, I found Healing Touch. It helped reduce the power that pain held in my life on physical, mental, and emotional levels, and continues to soothe flare-ups. And that’s one reason why I’m passionate about sharing it with others. 

Pain can be triggered for many reasons, such as an illness, injury, or trauma. Whether you recently had surgery or cancer treatment, or if you’re a trauma survivor, several research studies have found that Healing Touch can help reduce pain you as you recover.  

Through light touch on the body and in the energy field surrounding it, Healing Touch takes a gentle, holistic approach and is complementary to any other methods you may be using to manage pain. It restores the flow of subtle energy to the affected area, which is often constricted as our bodies naturally attempt to protect us from pain by tightening the muscles or holding a certain posture. From there, Healing Touch techniques can be used to treat the entire body, as well as the mind and spirit, acknowledging that many factors may be contributing to pain and bringing them into harmony energetically. 

Most clients experience deep relaxation during Healing Touch sessions, which allows greater blood flow to major muscle groups and eases tension. Another theory for how Healing Touch improves chronic pain is that it changes the sensory dynamics of the brain. According to this model, chronic pain is related to maladaptive ways that the brain perceives the painful body parts. Oppositely, techniques such as Healing Touch initiate beneficial changes within the brain by treating the entire body, guiding the person’s focus to non-painful areas through gentle touch. This broadens and changes how the brain experiences the body as a whole and contributes to pain reduction. 

If you’re curious about how Healing Touch could help you, or want to learn more, I’d be glad to talk with you. Sign up for a free Energy Exploration session, or email me at allisondawnenergyhealing@gmail.com 

Real-Time Survival Mode

By Debbie Zuckerman, Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach

As I write, tens of thousands are experiencing the trauma of loss of property, community, and safety due to the fires in California. They are in sheer survival mode, focused on basic needs like shelter, food, and water. People may be grieving the loss of loved ones. They may feel emotions like anger, frustration, confusion, shock, anxiety, sadness, overwhelm, and numbness. Like me, you may have loved ones who are going through this nightmare, and may feel helpless as you watch the events on the news or text them endlessly to check in. 

How does one keep their nervous system regulated when life has been turned upside down? How do you make critical and logical decisions when in fight-flight-freeze mode? These are questions I am pondering as I witness my family and Los Angeles county residents go through this unimaginable upheaval. 

In times of suffering, when one’s catastrophic thoughts are actually true, how do you cope? 

What comes to mind is the practice of compassion. Compassion meets suffering where it is and acknowledges the truth of the situation. Consider affirmations such as:

“This is my worst-case scenario coming true, and I will take it one day at a time.” 

“I am suffering and can overcome this.”

“I am not alone in this and have others to help me through.”

Allowing space to validate and feel your emotions can be difficult, yet is also necessary for healing. Energetic connection with one’s community, even if it is physically gone, is essential to well-being and survival. Self-compassion and compassion for others are restorative measures to bring a sense of belonging and grounding in difficult times. 

Breathwork, tapping, healing touch, and other nervous system regulation practices will not reverse the destruction caused by the fires. However, they are reliable, evidence-based tools to help you access inner strength, resilience, and hope during times of outer and inner turmoil. 

To receive coaching support for your emotional and mental well-being during this challenging time, feel free to schedule a session or contact me at debbie@centerpiecewellness.com.

New Year’s Resolutions? Maybe Not.

By Susan Temple, MA, BCC, ACEP

Are you a person who sets resolutions for the new year? If so, how does that usually work out for you? The online forum Medium says that only 8% of Americans follow through on their New Year’s resolutions. 

I often think of New Year’s resolutions as promising yourself to start doing something that is good for you, or to stop doing something that is bad for you. Who can argue with that? So, if  New Year’s resolutions are a good thing, why is it so hard to keep them?

Resolutions tend to be a mind-based plan where you are either going to win or lose. That’s a lot of pressure. By the end of the year, you’ve either done it or you haven’t. For example, a common resolution is “I’m going to get in great physical shape this year.” If you don’t manage to do that, you may notice you are berating yourself, feeling discouraged, and experiencing even less desire to move forward. 

But I think the more important problem with resolutions is that our mind is telling us what is good for us, without checking in with our soul and body. If your mind, soul and body aren’t in alignment with your goal, you will find a lot of objections coming up, and it will be very difficult to move forward. Your soul and body need to feel a deeper why in order to engage in change.

That’s why I prefer intentions to resolutions. Intentions are more about who we choose to be, than what we choose to do. They tend to involve our right brain as well as our left, thus bringing us into alignment. They are kind of like personal values, in that your awareness of your intentions can guide your behavior and decisions.

One way to start thinking about your intentions for the year is to ask yourself these questions:

• Who do I want to be in my life this year?

• How do I want to feel as I move through my days? 

• How do I want to show up in my life this year?

• What do I want to bring to the world this year?

Spend some time with those questions, maybe journaling about them, or talking with a trusted person. Then use your answers to create 2-3 intentions for the year. 

The person who wants to be in great physical shape by the end of the year might set these intentions: 

• I intend to be a person who takes good care of him/herself.

• I intend to feel strong and comfortable in my body.

• I intend to be present in the moment.

Intentions are as unique as you are, and you can set them however you like. They can evolve as the year goes on.

One way to keep your intentions front and center is to create an Intention Journal. Write your intentions in the front of your journal. Then, each day, jot a few notes, noticing what you’ve done to honor your intentions that day.

For the intentions above, a day of notes might look like this:

1. I took a long walk

2. I noticed that I don’t get as tired as I used to

3. I was very present when I met with my friend today

As you can see, this doesn’t have to take much time, but it will keep your mind/body/soul, focused on your intention. It will also help to lessen any negative self-talk, because even when you have days where you didn’t honor all your intentions, you will have a whole journal full other days where you did, to remind you of all your positive steps forward.

Let me know if you want support for setting intentions for the new year, or if you have questions:  susan@lifecoachsusantemple.com