The Adult Task of Loving Self

Self-compassion and self-love is a necessity for the world.... here's why. When we refuse to love ourselves, we unknowingly give that task to others around us. When they do not love us in the way that we need, then we deem them unsafe and even, the enemy. Thus, the hostile disdain we actually feel for the self becomes too painful to bear and then is projected onto someone else. Now, our inability or refusal to love the self becomes a burden we have placed onto those around us.

We must pull back the projection and take on the adult task of loving ourselves. This takes practice and attention to the voices that sneak in to tell us we are unlovable. To not collude in the self-attack, takes courage and conscious intention. The brain can be reprogrammed for self love and compassion. This is the ONLY way to have real, healthy relationships.

Chronic self-attach is an epidemic in our culture. The Dali Lama was once asked about this concept of self-hatred, to which he replied, "I don't understand what you are asking me." There is no concept or Sanskrit term for self-hatred. If each person could learn how and commit to accepting and loving the self, we would not see enemies at every turn. We would not need to protect our psychological well being by projecting the self disdain onto others.

Self compassion is not just a nice idea, it is an absolute necessity. Please, take on the adult task of self-acceptance, love, and compassion. Do not make that someone else's job. Release those around you of this burden to bear.