What is it? Chronic self-attack is a common thought process that holds many people prisoner. It keeps us from living freely and affects the brain, the nervous system, and our overall sense of wellness. Are you your own bully? Paul Gilbert, in his book The Compassionate Mind, writes:

Imagine if someone is bullying you – always pointing out and dwelling on your mistakes or things that you’re unhappy with, or telling you that you’re no good and there’s no point in you trying anything, or being angry with you – all this will affect your stress systems and level of the stress hormone cortisol in your body will increase. Never escaping from the bully makes you feel anxious, upset and unhappy because the threat/self-protection system in your brain has been triggered. If the criticism is harsh and constant, it may make you feel depressed. The point is: our own thoughts and imaginations can do the same… and we will be constantly stimulating our threat/self-protection system.

There is no escape or relief from the attacker. This can lead to any addiction that may hold some temporary relief. In my work with clients, I use the power of self-compassion, re-imaging in the brain and discovering where this strategy may have originated to keep the self-in-line.

If you don’t heal chronic self-attack, you run the risk of expecting others to love you in a way that you refuse to do. The other cannot fill this void or heal the wounds. This is your Adult Task. Your wounded Innocent One living inside you is waiting for you to start this healing process. You can find freedom and no longer be imprisoned by chronic self-attack.